How To Get Newborn To Sleep Without Being Held

Curious how to get newborn to sleep without being held? This is what worked for us in those early weeks!

Those early weeks, and especially nights, are so so challenging when all you want to do is sleep but all baby wants to do is be held. I’ve been there. It is rough! Sharing what worked for us to help our newborn sleep in his bassinet so mom and dad could get some sleep as well!

@messybunmotherhood

Replying to @Kelseymcc hope this gives you a little bit of an idea?? Sending sleepy bassinet vibes to your baby! #newbornjourney #newparents #newbornsleep

♬ original sound – ivy | first time mom

This post is all about how to get newborn to sleep without being held.

For the first week or two of my son’s life, he would only sleep if held by me or my husband. We would take turns, or shifts, being on duty to hold the baby while he slept, and the other parent would get some rest. This was tough, especially through the night, but we made it work. More on what you need to know about the first night home with baby here (applies to the first week(s) as well tbh.)

I knew this couldn’t last, and that eventually we wanted him to be able to sleep on his own in the bassinet. There were four key things at play for how we finally got him to sleep, and stay asleep (for a little while anyways) in his bassinet.

Before sharing these I do just want to clarify that when I say how to get newborn to sleep without being held, I’m referring to helping baby to sleep, and successfully transferring to a safe sleep space like bassinet, crib, etc. Not a newborn falling asleep completely on their own. They’re likely much too young for that, unless you lucked into a unicorn baby 🙂

Immediate transfer

Previously what I had been trying was feeding him, snuggling for a while (either swaddled or unswaddled) then swaddling if he wasn’t already and transferring to the bassinet where he’d pretty much immediately wake up.

Since he was always super sleepy immediately after feeding, I decided to instead try feeding, swaddling, and immediately putting down afterwards. And boom! It worked!

He got more and more used to the bassinet the more we did that, and eventually I could work back in the snuggles without it being disruptive. Win win, since obviously I’m not going to give up sweet little baby snuggles!

Swaddle

A swaddle was key for our baby since he had a strong startle reflex, like most babies do. He loved to be tightly snuggled in his swaddle, even though he would fight it a little and sometimes wiggled an arm out.

We tried one of the arms up kind of swaddles, and it didn’t work for him when he was little, although it was his preferred swaddle eventually!

We used the kind where their arms are secured by their sides with velcro. We used the SwaddleMe swaddles and I didn’t love them honestly. I ended up purchasing a Sleepea 5-second swaddle but didn’t use it because we moved to the Love to Dream (arms up) swaddle and he much preferred it.

Either way, having something to reign in the startle reflex was key. He loved being cozy and warm – similar to the feeling in the womb! Might take a few tries to figure out what works best for your little, but I definitely recommend trying some kind of swaddle if you aren’t already.

Practice

We realized quickly he wasn’t going to sleep in the bassinet (next to our bed) at night, so we started the shifts system. During the day though, we would try out crib or bassinet naps to see how it would go. We’d rather try it out to see how it went during the day than when it was 3am. Especially because during the day my husband and I had overlap time where we were both awake, so testing out a sleep space wouldn’t disturb the other person.

Also, it was helpful to practice how to transfer a sleeping newborn! Takes a few tries to get the hang of it, especially how to pull your hand away. I’ve read that it’s best to start with their bottoms then their head, so that’s what we do. Who knows if it actually makes a difference!

Time

I think time has plenty to do with it too. Some babies just aren’t ready yet, so you need to wait until they are unfortunately. Forcing it won’t make it happen any quicker. An overtired baby will sleep worse, not better! Keep practicing and everyone will get there!

Also, I think what the immediate transfer thing taught me was that I needed to play around with the different sleep variables to figure out what worked best.

Clearly it wasn’t working to let him sleep on me for a bit then transferring, so I tried the immediate transfer. Perhaps your baby prefers something else! See what variables (when you’re transferring, type of swaddle, when the feed fits in, rocking vs bouncing vs laying on your chest, etc.) you have to work with and play around with them.

---

Also, I just have to keep it real. The irony of me writing this post while my now 3 month old is contact napping on me because he’s having a hard time sleeping in his bassinet. Only naps for 30ish minutes, then super fussy all day because he’s overtired. Poor guy. He sleeps well at night, and transfers well for both night sleep and naps, the naps he just doesn’t stay asleep for long enough though. So it all comes and goes in phases! Anyways…

That’s what worked for us for how to get our newborn to sleep without being held! Hopefully this gives you some ideas to try, and everyone will be getting more sleep very soon.

This post was all about how to get newborn to sleep without being held.