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We are (somehow) only a few months away from our ttc journey to baby #2 and it is so weird to realize that! Time moves at lightening speed as a parent. There’s a part of me that feels like I JUST found out I was pregnant with my son, but in reality, I’m planning his SECOND birthday party which is coming up rapidly in May.
Right around then it’s go time to bring him a sibling. I feel ready now to start trying honestly, but we have a big trip planned for mid-May that I would like to not be pregnant for. I had a really rough pregnancy with my son, and I would not want to be oversees for an extended period dealing with nausea/insomnia/etc. We decided this trip (since it’s only me and my husband) would be a nice way to have some quality time before we do the whole baby thing alllllll over again. Plus, we like the age gap trying at 2 years old would bring, and a few other reasons this timing makes sense for us.
Going into this ttc journey feels so different the second time around. I felt like I was SPRINTING towards getting pregnant the first time. It could not come soon enough. I really felt like I had been waiting my entire life to be a mom, so I was itching to get there. Itching to find my purpose.
I started taking prenatals like a year before trying lol. Reading books, scouring reddit threads, tracking ovulation any possible way I could. I’d like to claim I was trying to get ready, but it really boiled down to obsession lol. It was all I could think about so I *had* to do something related.
That said, I do think tracking my ovulation for a few cycles prior to ttc really helped us get pregnant quickly! Tracking ovulation imo is a little confusing if you’ve never done it before, so it was helpful to learn how to do it and what you should be looking for. And of course helpful to better understand my body and how to time things.
Fast forward to this time around. We’re only a few cycles away, so I’ve had it in my head to start tracking ovulation again, and I cannot be bothered to do it??? For my son I was peeing on so many damn ovulation sticks all day long. I wanted to know when I’d peak down to the SECOND 😂
I’ve done it once this time around. Part of that is being busier since now I’m a mom but idk, I don’t feel quite as obsessed. My deep need to become a mom has been met, so that same fire isn’t there. Not to say I don’t have baby fever and am not so so so excited to do it all again!! That is very much what I am feeling. But that crazy obsession??? Not so much.
I don’t feel like I’m sprinting towards it in the same way. I’m more present and content in entering that season and allowing the timing to be the timing. I think there’s also a piece of me in the back of my mind savoring our life as a family of 3. I know pregnancy while having a toddler will be a challenge, so I want to enjoy this time right now instead of trying to get it to pass as quickly as possible.
It’s so weird to think that there will be another child in our little family. I know every single mom has said this before, and it’s never an issue, but I cannot picture loving another child as much as I love my son. How is there possibly that much love in my heart to give? I know that there is, but without experiencing it, I simply cannot imagine it. And it breaks my heart a little to imagine having to give up myself to another, when I love my son so so much. What if he needs me and I can’t go to him? I know that will be hard.
It’s also a little strange because for so much of my relationship with Scott he had a hard stop at 2 kids. I had been leaning 2-3, but then as we got serious/married I felt great about the number 2. Once we had our son, tbh I was contemplating being one and done because of how hard the transition was for me lol. Eventually though I warmed up and felt good about having another, then stopping.
THEN, something shifted for me and my husband, and all of the sudden the idea of 3 children felt placed on my heart AND my husband was open to it. Which was HUGE because, like I said, harddddd stop at 2. Always always always. We have been going through a lot of personal growth, healing, and learning. So much focus on ourselves, and our family. With that, came this vision of 3 children, and it just felt so right. Still does.
However, it’s not a definite. I very much want to see how it goes with 2, and so does my husband. And he could of course come back to that hard stop. Maybe I will. I don’t think I will though. Who knows. But how do I go into this pregnancy not knowing if it’s my last or not? I feel like I have to approach it like it is, because if it turns out that it was and I didn’t properly savor it as my last, I will regret it. Does that make sense? It’s a bit of an odd mental state to be in. But I’m someone who likes to know everything ahead of time and have all the answers, and as I continue to learn in motherhood, that simply isn’t doable. I guess I just savor it the best I can, which I supposed I’d be doing anyways, and let the rest be up to the universe!
The next few months will be a bit hectic for us. We have a trip this week to Florida, a family visit in March, my son’s birthday party in April (it’s early because of our trip in May). And another big thing that I’ll be sharing soon. While Jan+Feb has been a crazy and slowwww start to the year, I think the next bunch of months will fly, and bam we’ll be in our ttc baby #2 journey. I want it to slow down, but also, I can’t wait!
Are any of you guys in your ttc journey currently, or will be soon?
I am in the same boat. 18 month old son and the window of having a second is opened and I’m not sure how I feel about it yet. I want them close in age but I am not sure I’m ready for pregnancy and another baby yet. I don’t think I’ll ever feel totally ready. I think we might try just before he turns 2….
Absolutely. Impossible to ever feel ready! And it feels like such a huge decision to pick the age gap. But I have to trust it will all work out the way it’s supposed to.
My son is the same age as yours and this has been on my mind as well. What are your thoughts on this age gap? How did you decide on it?
It honestly sorta came about naturally. Up until my son was 15ish months I felt totally closed off to the idea of trying. Then it sort of became something I was flirting with, and all of the sudden I felt ready. My husband was on a similar timeline with that. Then it just came down to timing with life. We have a huge trip in May we decided it be best for me to not be pregnant on, and another big life things coming up this summer, so it felt like this was the universe’s sign on timing. Also, with the idea of having 3 in the back of my head, I didn’t want to wait too much longer since I ain’t getting any younger 😂 . I really love the idea of this age gap though. I think they will be close enough to enjoy each other, but my son will be old enough to have more independence, understanding, etc. I think (and hope) it will be the exact right fit for our family!