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Finally bringing home your sweet little newborn can be a rush of all kinds of emotions, and then comes the first night home with baby. Here’s absolutely everything you need to know to get through it!
I was pretty intimidated by my first night home with baby, but after getting through it, and all the nights that followed, I feel I have some pretty solid advice to share on how to survive it! Sharing all of that below so perhaps you can feel more prepared, or at the very least, less alone.
This post is all about the first night home with baby.
I shared all about this on my TikTok in three parts, all three below! This was more sharing about the experience as it was happening. Now that I’ve gone through it and gotten to the other side, I think I can share a bit more about the advice side of things.
Part one:
Part two:
Part three:
If you watched those, you can see a bit into my mindset and how it went throughout the night. Obviously, we survived!
If you didn’t watch, I’ll give a quick summary: my husband and I did shifts through the night with taking care of baby or sleeping. I was feeling super super intimidated going into the evening. Felt like we had so much night to get through. But in the end, it all went well!
How to survive the first night home with baby:
Take Shifts:
Our little guy would old sleep if being held, so what worked best was for us to take shifts so the other person could get some sleep. The length of the shift was predetermined for us, since we based it around his feeding schedule. I believe at that point we were instructed to feed every 3 hours, but it might have been 2 and a half.
I often offered to do a bookend shift, where I started my shift with the feed, stayed with baby until it was time for the next feed, then fed and my husband would take over. I couldn’t do that myself since I was the one feeding him (we breastfed.)
If you are doing formula though you can have more options! I’ve seen some people even do one night on one night off instead of shifts through the night, so each person can get a full night of sleep every other night or so.
If baby tolerates being put down you of course could stay together, but that wasn’t the case for us.
Have the person who is off shift sleep somewhere else if they’re okay with it:
Since our baby wouldn’t sleep if put down, we had the person who was on be downstairs on the couch with the baby, and the person who was off would go upstairs to our master and sleep. This way they were totally off duty and mostly away from the noises of the little guy so they could get as uninterrupted sleep as possible.
However, once my baby blues kicked in, I wasn’t okay with being away from my baby or my husband, so I slept on the couch with them while my baby was on duty on the other end of the couch.
Try to sleep during your shift if you can:
If baby will tolerate being put down, even for little chunks of time, try and put baby down and get the little extra bits you can while on duty! For the first week or so baby only wanted to be held, so we couldn’t do that, although we tried. The more we practiced the more baby became okay with it.
His nursery was downstairs, the same level as the “on shift” person, so we would try the crib. We also tried the bassinet that went in our stroller, but tbh, even though it was a designated safe sleep space I wasn’t comfortable with it. The fabric on the side wasn’t tight enough in my opinion, so I was nervous if he got over to the side of the bassinet he wouldn’t be able to breathe.
Find a show or way to pass the time:
You have to find some way to pass the time! I liked having something designated for through the night.
Personally, Key & Peele was my go to. I liked that it was chunks of show, since it’s sketch comedy, so every sketch we got through felt like a win. Idk if that makes sense, but it’s what worked for me.
I also did TikTok a ton, filming, editing, or watching and that was good for me.
My husband watched TikTok as well. He also had a show he saved for while he was on duty. His show of choice was the Michael Jordan documentary The Last Dance.
If you have family offering to help in some way but they can’t visit, they could FaceTime or call you during it, to help pass the time and with staying up.
Find the little things that make the night feel doable:
For me this looked like turning on this specific kitchen light we had that gave more warm and cozy vibes, rather than the other lights that felt too intense.
I also would walk around a little bit holding the baby. A handful of times I held him and (very slowly) unloaded the dishwasher. Not that you need to do chores, but having something to do helped me pass the time. Plus, I always feel good when our kitchen is in good shape.
One thing I noticed that helped was noticing when the birds started chirping in the early morning. Felt like this signal that the night was over and morning was starting. Something small that helped my mentality so so much.
Take things one hour at a time:
It can be SO intimidating to think about getting through the entire night, at least it was for me. What helped me was shifting my mindset to taking things one hour at a time. What did I need to do in order to get through that next hour, not the whole night. Breaking it down in chunks like that helped me a ton.
You could even designate different things for the different hours.
Set alarms if you’re worried about falling asleep:
We didn’t have this issue too much luckily, but if you’re worried about falling asleep while on your shift, especially while holding the baby, SET ALARMS!
Notice yourself getting more and more sleepy? Set an alarm for a few minutes out. Do it as often as you need to. Find those ways to maintain safe sleep for your little one.
Walk around. Turn on the lights. Splash some water on your face. Do what you need to.
Remember that it will feel hard, but you will get through it:
Simply accepting the fact that it was going to feel really hard was helpful to me. It wasn’t a shock or anything, I knew what I was doing was going to be difficult. Then you appreciate those easy moments when they come SO much more.
Also know that you will get through it! Even in those impossibly hard moments, time will pass, and you will get to the other side.
Know that with every passing hour and every passing day it will get easier:
This is something I heard, but when you’re in the thick of it, it can feel completely untrue. You can’t even imagine it feeling easier. It’s true though, I promise.
Every night felt easier than the last. You start to slowly piece together your routine, learn your baby, and figure out what works.
We are just about to the three month mark now and while things often still feel chaotic to me, they are NOTHING like that first night or first week. They are 100% manageable, and have been that way since around the 4-6 week mark. You adjust! But you must give yourself time to do so.
Little by little you get there. It might not even be noticeable to you at first, but all the sudden you look back and realize how new and scary it all used to feel, and how it doesn’t feel that way at all anymore. You won’t be able to believe how hard it all used to be because of how you’re really starting to find your groove.
You might even find yourself missing that very first night when everything was fresh and new. A precious time unlike any other. It felt forever in the moment, but in reality was passing so much quicker than you realized.
Wishing you all the best as you tackle that first night home with baby. You got this. Here to chat via dms (instagram/tiktok) or email (messybunmotherhoodblog@gmail.com) anytime!
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