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I know sleep training can be a super hot topic, but I wanted to share my experience with what I did in case you’d like to try something similar!
When it came to sleep and sleep training, I knew I wanted to try to find a way to do it without crying it out if possible. No judgement if that’s the route you took! It just didn’t feel like a good fit for us at the time, and I wanted to experiment with a non crying it out way first to see if we could make that work.
This is what sleep looked like for us around 4 months:
All naps were cat naps (usually 32 minutes on the DOT!) and nothing was extending them, he simply wasn’t developmentally ready to connect sleep cycles and take longer naps. In order to get him to sleep I would usually rock him for a bit, then try to transfer him to his crib or bassinet (50/50 success rate.) If he woke, then I would just contact nap him.
At night it was around the same to get him to sleep. When he woke up in the middle of the night he would nurse, and fall right back asleep usually while nursing, and I could easily transfer him to the bassinet.
I was back to work at this point, and the constant cat naps that involved me rocking him for a while and often unsuccessfully being able to transfer him were getting really difficult. I felt like I was spending the entire day unable to work/do anything but help him sleep. It wasn’t sustainable for me.
Sleep training:
Right around 4 months he hit the 4 month sleep regression – I knew it was that because his night wakes all the sudden increased a TON! We were lucky in that it didn’t last too long for us, but I knew that this was a sign his sleep was progressing in some way.
I had previously tried to work with him on falling asleep independently in his crib or bassinet, but he wasn’t ready whatsoever. Once he passed the sleep regression, it seemed like it might be time to try again.
I’d summarize my strategy as practice! I allowed my baby the chance to practice falling asleep on his own.
What this looked like was around 10-15 minutes before his wake window was up (important!! learning to fall asleep is a skill! And it’s hard to work on a new skill when you’re tired or overtired) I would set him up for nap (fresh diaper, swaddle, sound machine, dark room, door closed) and lay him in his crib. I would then leave the room and watch him on the monitor and give him the space to practice falling asleep on his own, as well as get comfortable with his crib.
I would let him fuss, but the moment it got worked up to crying I would go in. If he cried, I first would try to settle without picking up and still in his crib. I’d shush, pat him, gently wiggle him, lay my hand on his chest, whatever. I tried a bunch! If that didn’t work after a few minutes or if it did but he again worked himself up to crying, I’d just pick him up and call it, knowing we could practice again for the next nap. I’d just do what we had previously done for naps and help him to sleep.
The more and more we practiced, the less he fussed and the more he took to it! He slowly was starting to understand, feel comfortable, and learn how to fall asleep on his own. Eventually it got to the point where he would not fuss as all and just drift off to sleep completely on his own. I was so proud!
Even though we were still in the thick of cat naps, it bought me back so much time because I could just lay him down and go back to work or whatever I needed to do.
He naturally picked it up for nighttime sleeping too. He was still waking a ton at night to eat, but fell back asleep easily like normal.
He dropped his nighttime feeds on his own around 8 months once he was eating a ton of solids.
It was a huge relief to me to have been able to do this without him crying it out. Again, no judgement if that’s what you did. I believe everyone knows what’s best for their family!!
He’s 11 and a half months now, and still puts himself to sleep like a champ. I’m so glad to have helped him develop this skill! Even when we’ve traveled or messed up his schedule, he still has been able to put himself to sleep really well. It’s been incredible!
I hope this helps give you an idea of something to try with your own little one if you’re looking for a gentle sleep training method. Good luck and happy to chat about it anytime!
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